without getting into a long explanation of our banking woes with wells fargo (involving cut equity lines and NSF notices and letters that came four days after valid transfers were made) i, along with most of our nation, am officially "over" banks. it started after owen and i spent the morning in our branch clearing up the trickle down of the credit crisis in our home and ended here at the riverside branch where i went to make a cash deposit to balance our account.
already frustrated i apparently walked into a "flashback party" in wells fargo. at the door i was greeted by a 20something girl with a clipboard wearing a headband and sweats a la olivia newton john who i swear was going to lead me in jumping jacks when all i wanted to do was rather unobtrusively make a deposit. on my through the ropes to the teller i passed by three girls whose makeup and hair was a sad stab at cyndi lauper holding neon balloons dressed for a vh1 'i heart the eighties' video. i finally resach my teller only to find he is also in a reverse-sweatshirt standing under a turquoise xeroxed sign reading "wells fargo: we heart the 80s." and then as i gave him my cash to deposit says in this "dude, valley-boy" kind of voice (meanwhile dramarama is playing in the background) "hey, did you know you're way overdrawn on your account?" and which point i want to cry, scratch the record and say "dude, you all f&*ed up and that's why i'm depositing a wad of cash, in person, to a teller or rather rick springfield wannabe." instaed i give him my deposit, ask for a printout and leave, but not before the clipboard girl and two balloon girls rushed to the door, opened it and sang out: "have a tubular day."
and no, i did not make any of this up. i mean, what ever happened to casual friday or hawaiian shirt day? are the flashbacks supposed to make the foreclosed, defaulted, and unemployed bfeel like it's all just a bad dream? and the fact that no one at the bank appeared to have been old enough to have witnessed aqua net or legwarmers futher unnerved me. and i know when i walked out and just grimaced at the tubular girls they all went valley girl: "whatEVer what' the matter with HER?" but the "have a nice day" bobblehead-ish atmosphere actually just made me cry--as if the aig bonuses and "sorry there's nothing we can do even though we screwed up" selfrighteousness all culminated in this flippant flashback--and feel not at all tubular.
3 comments:
this, on the other hand, IS totally radical: michael will be home in 8 hours!
This really makes me mad! I hope you don't have any bank charges but in case you do I can totally get those reversed!!!
Hey what do you have against the 80s? No really--this is the funniest story I've heard all week. And if you imagine it's a Saturday Night Live skit and not your real life, it becomes much more manageable.
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