the strokes

so all day long it's "dadas car dadas car dadadada carcarcar." and after a long, hot day i grabbed owen and we went in mama's car. we shared some dinner, bought a melon (if you haven't bought cantaloupe yet go right now and get yourself some) and got mama a screwtop bottle of wine (another genius invention--which don't worry i shared with the ladera lush neighbor ladies and didn't drink alone).

and when we pulled up in front of "homehomehome" instead of grabbing owen and going into the hot house i left the a/c running and let him sit up in the passenger seat. and we cranked up the music and owen rocked out to the strokes (thank you hans)--that is, the first four seconds of each strokes song as owen kept changing the track. but i mean he really rocked out. in such a "boy" way to such "boy" music--whatever that means, but really i felt like i was being let in on some boy moment. and he was estatic. i'm thinking indie rock band by the time he's in preschool. watch for the rock video (in the works, by the way, with his dj pal west hunter--owen's on the mic).

here's me and owen in the car (and tell me he doesn' t look twelve!):

plans change

Went swimming after work today. My hotel doesn't have a pool, but the Hilton in the next town has one... A few of the guys from B&D are staying there. The pool was nice -- waveless on one side (waves go over the wall and into a drain) and walls on the other side -- which kind of defeats the purpose of a waveless pool, since waves will bounce back from the wall. But it was long enough to get some laps in, and not too chlorinated either.

Plans change -- the project already has began it's delay tactics. It was announced that the implementation start (scheduled for next monday) will be delayed until at least Oct. That means we are to remain at the site in Holland until then... This is the site where the development is done by SSA/Infor. So, I'm staying here until the 15th now.

Forgot my camera today, so enjoy a pic of my minibar.

move over rodney yee

i decided this morning that to get through the day i really needed yoga. i've been easing back into my routine with a little a.m. yoga which is basically fifteen minutes of stretching and breathing.
but it counts.
one of the many life lessons owen's teaching me is that even though my warm up dvd is miles away from the laguna beach yo-lates studio that does sun salutes to the sunrise and serves soy decaf lattes to two-week postpartum moms it's not as far away as it seems (actually only 5.7 miles). that yoga is really about taking that time to feel the alignment of your body, to breathe your inner self.
no really (that i think was patricia wald from p.m. yoga that i actually did after everyone was put to bed monday night, so i guess that's proof in itself) it's rethinking what zen means and making the space to do it.
so this morning i rolled out the yoga mat and put on rodney yee and owen got right into it. i think he dug the music and picked up some ideas for new dance moves. then, of course the dog joined in. and the cat. and really you can see a regular pattern emerge for our mornings in general. and the yoga i was doing wasn't quite what rodney was doing because owen kept diving into my lap and the dog kept taking over my yoga mat.
but it was better, really. i laughed. and then i did y-owgen or something like that. and then i felt like i could make my coffee. check out these moves, i'm thinking gayam or yoga life might be calling us soon.


follow the process


so yeah.. working in Europe is so glamorous.. here's what I look at all day -- boring process charts and documents. then catch dinner/drinks for a few hours and then spend a precious too few hours chatting/talking to Cara and Owen. tomorrow's another rainy day.. yes.. very glamorous.

pass the peas please

advice










so don't wash your carseat cover if you can help it. not because trying to figure out how to take
the carseat off is unnecessarily maddening but because while you have the carseat not in the car the little person who normally goes in the car may have a total meltdown. probably because the carseat is not in the carcar and that in itself is disturbing but mostly because the carseat is evidence of a car. and as you can see, once owen got the car in his head he demanded to be let out of homehome and set free to go in the carcar. that is, until he had his milkmilkmilkmilk.

and the other reason not to wash the carseat is that the carseat is not in the car. which is an offshoot of the reason above, but in this case distressing not for the little person but for the big person that is on the verge of an anxiety attack while the little person sleeps because if something happens and big person has to take little person somewhere she's screwed. so big person just kept with the mantra: sleep owen, sleep, baby, sleep. and big person didn't feel like she could breathe until she had a getaway car. apparently, like mother like son.

also, buy a dustbuster if you don't already have one. because even if you don't need to suck up joe's o's all day long they are amazing for cleaning up coffee grounds. or the undersides of carseats.

here's a good one. if you make key lime pie for a friend because it's the only known dessert she likes and then you are stuck with an entire pie and want to break the cycle of having pie for breakfast give a piece to all of your neighbors. be sure to include a scoop of the fresh whipped cream with a touch of vanilla. you get elevated to favorite neighbor status and they don't mind if you leave the trash out too long and offer to walk the dog for you if you are too busy or tired.

final advice: when all else fails add water. more on this later. pictures too.


Leaning Building


Just watching some dutch MTV station, answering some email, getting ready for bed. I had dinner with a few of the consultants who are staying at the same hotel as me. Thought I would give their peppered steak a try. I'm told it is a NL favorite. Here's a tip about ordering steak in NL: medium is still blood red. The way it was preparred was tasty, but the meat is terrible.. guess I'm used to the Kansas beef. It's not a habit... K's choice -- not an addict.. good tunes on the tv.. Cara's music.
This funny looking building is in the "square" in front of the hotel. The square here in central downtown Amersfoort is called the "Hof".

how we get by


ok, i love this picture. because it's owen looking at me, in his diaper, sitting on the dog, in the one square foot bathroom eating toilet paper. and it's a little too nittygritty i'm sure to be out there in a public space. but the thing is, this is us in the morning. it's 6:30 or earlier, owen had been sleeping with me since midnight after waking a few times (more molars i'm guessing) and had been chatting to the dog and cat since at least 5 am. and i'm in the bathroom having a morning pee and of course the door is open because owen is toddling around rearranging yes, my basket of tampons and pads under the sink (which he then hands off to the dog who loyally gives them to the cat who then eats them) and the dog is wondering when he gets his walk and then both of them get impatient and decide the party's in the bathroom. sierra gives a big sigh and lays at my feet so that i can't possibly forget that he needs a walk then owen throws the door wide open, hands me the phone (which is how this picture was taken in the first place) says "bring bring" then procedes to have a conversation with me using the discarded toilet paper roll stopping only to eat bits of toilet paper.

and this huddling around each other seems to be how we get through the day. sierra knows it's futile to expect me to be on michael's schedule so he just makes sure he's always close by, shadowing me and owen as we move about the house. and owen seems to have learned this huddle technique. he looks everywhere for dada: peeking in the office "dada?" calling up the stairs "dada?" looking out the window "dada?" but he does not seem daunted that he isn't in these familiar places. he just looks harder, squatting down to look under the desk or runs up the stairs faster. and amazingly enough he does find him--everywhere: he points to my laptop "dada!" (where his picture is on my desktop, his message on my gtalk, his words on this blog) on the phone he sings "dadadada" (and dances when his picture shows up under caller id) and sitting in "dadacar" owen seems to envision the roads travelled. and he holds my hand while doing all this. so we all stay close, keeping dada even closer ;)

First day of work



Here's the current headquarters for SSA... excuse me, now they are "Infor"... These are where my meetings are in Barnevald, NL. Quite a busy first day, tons of meetings with the customer (Rolls Royce), so I am tired. I'll throw you another pic of the "entrance" to the city of Amersfoort. I miss my normal routine of checking me email in my PJ's, but I'm sure I'll be home before I know it.

dog walker

the sunday daily

this morning owen wasn't awake twenty minutes before he was literally banging on the door, pulling open the shutters and pointing outside: "carcarcardadascar." then "dada dada dadas car." then complete meltdown. because that's how owen would like to spend his day. sitting as a pasenger in dada's defender parked outside. he's never actually gone for a ride, and won't be able to until he's at least six and we won't be arrested for child endangerment by putting him sideway facing in the back with no airbags and no booster seat. but owen doesn't care. just sitting in the carcar with plastic seats meant to be hosed down, a window that actually rolls up and down manually and old school door locks you actually push and pull. picture coming soon, promise.

but if it's not dada's car mama's car will do in a pinch. actually, mama's car is really where it's at because inside that dusty jetta is the crusty cheerio carseat that takes owen where he wants to "go go go". and he just likes to go. and i just love that about him. because we're now on phase three of the car napping. in my book, anyhow. and that means that i used to put him in the car so he would sleep. then i was trying to race him home before he slept otherwise he'd wake up upon arrival and forego sleep completely. now i hope he just stays awake for the adventure.

and today's adventure was an outing with our old friend kim and her new beau shane at the i. spectrum. and owen was out for the count. even stayed snoozing from the transfer from the carseat to the stroller. and he needed that nap. but as we walked around and passed fountains with water that went splash and water that came out of "roarroar" lions' mouths and wide open couryards safe for toddlers to zoom about i wanted him to wake up. i didn't want him to miss it. because i've started seeing things as he sees them. and i wanted to see them when he saw them because nothing beats an owen "ooooooooh."

but my favorite part of the day was shortly after a "carcarcar" meltdown because we had to take dogdog out for his afternoon business and we had to walk right by the defender and mama had no intention of stopping. mean mean mama. and i didn't have the stroller because i didn't get to drop it off in the garage because the garage door had somehow come loose earlier that day and it was too hot and owen too crazy and sierra too wound up to all wait for me to pull the stroller out of the car parked across the street. and sierra was pulling and owen was screaming and trying to wriggle out of my one-arm hip hold. but then we rounded the corner, got on the mail-route path and i figured out that if i held the leash in the middle and let sierra take the left side that owen could hold the leash and walk the dog. and that is exactly what he did.

quiet space: or, when i miss michael most

i think this blogging is going to be what saves me... right now is perhaps the first quiet, alone moment i've had since michael left. i've done the evening's "zambonie" sweep, taken the dog out for his last pee-mail check, sorted yesterday's mail. owen went down tonight without a fuss and has been snuggled up ever since. this is usually our time. when we settle into our evening. plot out the following day. but then put that aside and take some time to just "be." together. sometimes that means "movie time" and sometimes that means "coffee house." and i love that about us. i always tell michael i married him because i knew i found someone who could share silent space with me. to me, it's the most compassionate intimacy. so here i am in this silent space and i miss the nearness of michael. but writing this, i know we are sharing our quiet space, writing together, listening to one another.

Travel Day



I always wonder why people queue up like this. The rush to get in a plane where they will spend the next ten hours. Me --I like to be last on board-- the least amount of time on the plane, the better. this was the line-up for my flight from houston to amsterdam. movies on the flight were mi 3 and rv -- both not that great, but great for killing time.

new job, new countries, new colleagues... kind of overwhelming. Had a group dinner (really good indian food) in which I was introduced, so that gets me through some of the anxiety. Here's a pic of quite possibly the worst rental car I have ever had.

goodnight traveller

there's michael, halfway between here and there. we're saying goodnight and sending our hugs and kisses out to you. xoxo

owen's daily

one of my goals for this blog is to do an "owen daily" featuring pics (because really who can get enough pictures of owen?) and some kind of "best of" from the day's adventure (because every day is an adventure) and today seemed like a good day to begin. today is michael's last day home for a while (ok, i know exactly how long to the second--see the nifty countdown i added to the bottom of the blog) so we decided to go to our favorite cafe in laguna beach for breakfast. owen is a big time people (and dog) watcher and quite a conniseur of gourmet muffins and melons so he was in toddlerheaven.

but cafe lounging was nothing compared to running into the ocean. ever since canon beach owen discovered that the beach has water you can run right into and that it keeps coming back again and again or in owen speak "moremoremore". the waves up the oregon coast, however, are no match for the crashers out here in the oc. undaunted, owen ran right into the water anyhow. so here are the daily pics:


now i know that you can't see owen very well but i think they make great dailies anyhow: first of all, see how owen drags michael right into the water. and second of all, how michael manages to hold a diedrichs coffee in one hand and a squirmy owen in the other.

and the "best of" happened right before this, while we were at the diedrichs across the street. ladies, look out, owen had his first kiss. her name was tia or tiara or tea. and she was an older woman, with blond highlights and a pink velvet skirt. owen was showing off his impressive stair walking techniques and she showed him her latest ballet moves (as soon as she turns three she can sign up for ballet, her mom explained, so she was rehearsing). and as we left not only did owen do an impressive wave but when mama said give "a kiss byby" tia leaned in and owen planted one right on the cheek. quite a trick my little man...

coffee mug wisdom

so i'm not sure which will be more difficult--tomorrow morning enjoying a bittersweet latte with my favorite boys together in laguna beach, the first morning owen wakes up with his usual "dada" and we make coffee without you, or when i eventually stop making coffee because i'm the only one drinking it.

these are things i'm thinking as i make us a "coffeehouse" latte at 9:44pm but instead of sitting down with laptops and books you run up and down the stairs charging various devices, loading up my parents' new computer, adding things to your ttd list and i do the only thing that makes sense, i bleach the kitchen sink and softscrub the tile countertops.

but my point is this, that in doing all this i reach for my favorite mid-size coffee mug (because there's a favorite for each size: warhol gerber daisies for small french press, torrefazione for everyday drip coffee and blue bowl for super lattes) and i remember why it's my favorite. because it reminds me of the life i want to live, the life we work together to build.

happiness is a journey, not a destination...

there's a beautiful blog-esque narrative that i really needed once upon a postpartum (thanks b.) but right now what i really need is that reminder. that what we're doing here, is finding a way to keep going on that journey together. this last week has been a moment of pause, and i value the time we've taken to reflect on where we've been (fourteen years we've been growing together!) and dream about where we're going. but in this public domain i want to say again that i'm damn inspired by you. that you make the journey. that no matter where we're going we're always there together, most likely running after owen as he finds new roads to travel. so yeah, happiness is a journey and it looks like this:


My hotel in Alesund, Norway from Sept 2 thru 15th. Free wireless! It appears that I have a 30-40 minute drive to where I'll be working in Tennfjord.

Here's my itinerary for the next few weeks:


Sat 26-Aug-06
Orange County (SNA)Depart 8:59 am to
Houston (IAH)Arrive 2:21 pm Terminal C
1,350 mi(2,173 km)Duration: 3hr 22mn
CO ContinentalFlight: 189
Houston (IAH)Depart 7:15 pm Terminal E to
Amsterdam (AMS)Arrive 11:55 am +1 day
5,011 mi(8,064 km)Duration: 9hr 40mn
CO ContinentalFlight: 46
Total distance: 6,361 mi (10,237 km)
Total duration: 13hr 2mn (17hr 56mn with connections)

Sat 2-Sep-06
Amsterdam (AMS)Depart 12:30 pm to
Oslo (OSL)Arrive 2:20 pm
596 mi(959 km)Duration: 1hr 50mn
KL KLMFlight: 1145 Operated by: KLM CITYHOPPER
Oslo (OSL)Depart 3:15 pm to
Aalesund (AES)Arrive 4:10 pm
232 mi(373 km)Duration: 0hr 55mn
SK SASFlight: 4452 Operated by: BRAATHENS ASA
Total distance: 828 mi (1,333 km)
Total duration: 2hr 45mn (3hr 40mn with connections)

Fri 15-Sep-06
Aalesund (AES)Depart 7:00 am to
Oslo (OSL)Arrive 7:55 am
232 mi(373 km)Duration: 0hr 55mn
SK SASFlight: 4441 Operated by: BRAATHENS ASA
Oslo (OSL)Depart 11:30 am to
Newark (EWR)Arrive 1:55 pm Terminal C
3,679 mi(5,921 km)Duration: 8hr 25mn
CO ContinentalFlight: 39
Newark (EWR)Depart 5:00 pm Terminal C to
Orange County (SNA)Arrive 8:07 pm
2,441 mi(3,928 km)Duration: 6hr 7mn
CO ContinentalFlight: 787
Total distance: 6,352 mi (10,223 km)
Total duration: 15hr 27mn (22hr 7mn with connections)

and here's where I'll be staying in the Netherlands:

Logement De Gaaper

team gocarcarcar


we will weather these next few weeks by lots of "gocarcarcar," armed with shoes, a hat, and sometimes a "dogdog."