addendum

thankful.

really, really, thankful. and loved.

that's how i'm feeling right now.

one word

i just finished my first day of teaching and thought i'd share my in-class writing assignment to get some words out in blogspace. i'm exhausted and terrified but invigorated and hopeful--all isnglewords to describe right now. keeping with the cultural studies aspect of english 1c (more on that to come) i copied and pasted this one word meme from j. i loved the variety of student answers and conversation it sparked and it worked as an awesome springboard into our discussion of consumer culture. so here's mine. paste, reply, pass along.

The One Word Meme

1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Where is your significant other? greenland?
3. Hair color? auburn
4. Your mother? angel
5. Your father? papa
6. Your favorite thing? pooker
7. Your dream last night? sleep
8. Dream/Goal? all
9. The room you're in? decent
10. Your hobby? paper
11. Your fear? failure
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? envious
15. Muffins? banana
16. One of your wish list items? husband
17. Where you grew up? books
18. The last thing you did? coffee
19. What are you wearing? pink
20. Your TV? off
21. Your pet? sierradog
22. Your computer? red
23. Your life? changing
24. Your mood? hopeful
25. Missing someone? always
27. Something you're not wearing? baby
28. Favorite store? anthropologie
29. Your summer? surreal
30. Love someone? absolutely
31. Your favorite color? pink
32. When is the last time you laughed? today
33. Last time you cried? yesterday

Värmland

I've done other posts about the city of Karlstad (last Nov/Dec), so I thought I would post some pictures that I took from outside the city (in province of Värmland). Only about 30 min walk or so take you to the woodlands and some very marshy areas near lake Vänern. There's lots of bike/walking trails all over the area, and unlike Norway, the area here in Sweden is very flat.

bike trail


marshy areas

dog (and owen) tags

we've been busy putting labels on everything and having lots of fun-- owen picks (and often spells!) what to give a nametag and after doing everything from refrigerator to garage door. . . well, you can see for yourself.

our morning commute

working in sweden

It's been a while since I've posted anything, and I guess I've just been struggling in getting used to a new implementation site (near Kristinehamn, Sweden) and a new town (Karlstad, Sweden). It is definitely the season of fall over here as the days become a bit darker and the weather gets colder and cloudier, which makes me a bit sad... However, I still have a hard time in the 100+ F heat back home.

I flew into Stockholm which was a very nice city and took the train to Karlstad (2+ hours). I'm looking forward to going back and exploring that city a bit more.

I'm staying at the Best Western Savoy in Karlstad because of the points; the Scandic is a nicer hotel, but they no longer qualify for Hilton points.. bummer. I'm putting in long hours at the site and it's a 45 minute drive each way, so it doesn't leave much time for exploring or picture taking. I found a swimming pool last Saturday, and have been a couple of times since. Funny story was that I had a chat with the local swimming coach who used to swim with Pasadena City College... We used to play them in Water Polo and I had one of my more memorable games against them. Freshman year at Redlands, and I was already a bit fed up with my teammates, lets just say that they were not ready to play that day... to much partying the night before. PCC was not a great team, but somehow they were up 11-8 going into 4th quarter... I decided to become a ball hog and just keep the ball at hole (hard to explain to a non-water polo player) and turn and shoot whenever I could. ended up with 4 goals and 1 assist, all in the 4th quarter, and we won 13-12.

But the food is good and the people are nice. I'll try and get out this weekend and take some pictures.

viva la weekend--

--i figured i should continue owen's coldplay obsession (ask him any track number of any song on viva la vida and he can tell you the song title and when it will get "faster" or "quieter" and what song is coming next. he will also tell you your favorite song as well as his own and point out whenever he sees a "violet hill"). as i've bemoaned elsewhere, weekends, well, suck. the weeks pretty much are a blur, but there's this pee-wee-herman-esque quality to the weekend (watching all those bikes go by) when michael's gone.

but this weekend was pretty great. we ventured into the city and had a super "play date" at LACMA with jasmine (check out these great pics!). i love that rather than ask owen what color the wooly mammoth animatron was she explained the function of tusks, the reason for bubbles in the tar pits, and the etymology of t-rex. the page museum was lots of fun natural history, but then we ventured over to see iconic contemporary art at BCAM. as soon as owen saw the exterior escalator (like the tunneling ones at the pompidou in paris) he ran right up to the kiosk and exclaimed "i need a ticket!". and here's the really fabulous part--we got him a "nexgen" pass which means that until he's 18 he not only gets in for free but so does any accompanying adult. we had so much fun running through the richard serra "ribbons" of steel and looking at our reflections in jeff koons' balloon dog that we're leaving our pass in the car!

sunday was a quieter, but restorative day. we met b&w and baby stella at the big park and had an impromptu picnic and are doing dinner & a movie (i'm thinking the sword in the stone) tonight--and hopefully putting together a proposal for a motherhood & academia cfp. the lesson, of course on motherhood, academics, commuting, across-the-world-daddies, is always the same. you need your friends, your family, and a loving community--a little art, some good music, and lots of joy help too!

spoiler

ok, you had to see these supercapes in action-- b. ordered them (for less than i made owen's alphabet cape last year) from this fun shop in etsy

super scat cat be bat

i made a promise to myself that nighttime would be writing time... after owen's tucked in and the dog is fed & watered i'd sit at my desk in our refurbished office, leave my teaching and grading back at campus and see my commitment to finishing this diss through. and most of it, i think, is just the routine of sitting. the coming up and turning on the light even when the couch or the bath sound much cozier. so here i am.

ok, so i'm not going to write about kogawa or wideman, but words, clicketyclacking are important. what i did want to write about was how thankful i am that we found a great preschool for owen. both owen and i love miss sherry, and this afternoon while the other tots were still waking up from rest time we got to sit at the little round table and chat with her. all week when i asked owen what his favorite part of preschool was he would say "letter sounds" and today i found out why--before circle time begins they sing a letter sound song "ah ah ah is for apple. . . sss sss ss is for snail" and so on. apparently, miss sherry (who is throwing her hands up and laughing while she tells me) explained, owen gets a bit silly and just starts making up words, but not just any silly nonesnse, but rhyming bebop words "and when he gets to z he really goes crazy zzeeebopbeebop zzzzzeee zaaaazz zzzzzzoooobooo" and then "i just had to laugh today when we did numbers, because owen here, there wasn't anything he didn't know!" and owen said "miss sherry why are you laughing and saying oh owen?" and she just kept laughing. so if owen can rhyme his way through school, mama can do her part and write her way through.

oh, and here's a little preview of superowen--we took our cupcakes to bw&s's place and had a cape party and let's just say it was, well, super. i found a fabulous thunderbolt teeshirt, and am thinking of making a red felt belt and getting some wristbands for halloween. in the meantime, it's just good to be three and super.

"whisk up!"

yesterday after we went to the airport we decided what we really needed were some cupcakes. and tell me owen doesn't look ready for his own foodtv spot:




as i was uploading this video, owen making chocolate cupcakes came up on youtube and here he was nearly a year ago--in the same spot with the whisk. i know i've posted this one before, but seeing them back to back was pretty cool. and of course really really underscored how much my little baby boy has grown up. i mean, look at the learning curve in whisking alone!

for the mother of owen's children

a little whining, rambling, reassuring and breathing

so i know things have been a little erratic here at fidfam, but the truth is that things are a bit, well, back and forth here as well. it's monday morning and owen's listening to coldplay (his absolute favorite now, which i'm of course only encouraging) on my phone and michael's upstairs packing for sweeden. i start teaching in two and a half weeks and while i'm excited and invigorated by some new ideas michael and i discussed for teaching hamlet i'm really really freaked out. i'm wondering how i'll moderate the online web discussion board, grade some 90+ essays weekly, and stay on track to graduate this summer--while making an hour commute at 6am with a big sierradog and sleepy three year old. no, i'm really wondering how owen and i will have time to make blueberry muffins together. but i guess it isn't the wondering that makes it happen, it's knowing that you made it here, and having a pretty phenomenal support crew. really, isn't that the lesson mcqueen teaches us in cars? and of course it isn't the teaching or the writing that i'm worried about, because that's a gift--to be able to pursue work that is creative and challenging is a gift. it's the unwillingness as my professor told me to"reprioritize now"--how, as a mother, do you do that? i don't think it's inherently possible. perhaps it's letting owen grow a little on his own. yesterday i was tlaking to a girlfriend i hadn't spoken to in a few months and told her all about owen's preschool and how i thought it was a good time for him to begin--and she laughed and said "cara, owen's been ready at least six months. you, on the other hand, were not." and as if owen knew i needed an, it's ok mom, there are some things only mommy can do--he asked while scrolling through the elizabeth mitchell cd (with twinkle twinkle little star and mariposa and other songs in our bedtime song repertoire) why the "fishy" song wasn't on there. and the reason is that only mommy sings that song, she made it up just for owen. but we're all getting bigger and learning to adapt to changes and welcome challenges--three weeks is a damn long time. it just is, and it makes all of our hearts sad that michael is there and we're here. we can be sad, but we can't complain. i've been blessed to spend the last three years nurturing our family, building our little nest in whateve tree we happen to be perched in. and those baby doves that flew from the nest outside our window? they're back, and there are two more eggs! so it's a cycle, right (no, i am NOT pregnant) but and the real marker that we're all growing? on friday at california adventure owen was finally tall enough to ride the sea jellies!