some pain and some promise

usually a week or so after m's been gone i hit that slump. the momentum and energy from when we were all together has been spent and i spend a few days somewhere between bordem and despair with bouts of panic. this is of course after i front load my week with distractions so that when he does leave it doesn't feel so lonely. and it was a good week: fun, busy, productive. but by friday afternoon my leg pain was searing and the library articles gathered were unread. the mri i had last week solved little and it seems the time without pain between ibuprofen and alleve are less and less (i've had increasing sciatic pain and after some research it does seem that carrying a 30 pound owen hipside all around norway may have aggravated some prenatal sciatica) and then i don't exercise because everythign hurts and it just starts to slowly spiral down. o. has completely abandoned naps and the spurts of promising and productive research followed by days of no reading or writing seem so discouraging. and having nothing but starbucks for breakfast all week doesn't help either. and soydogs for lunch and of course preparing anything beyond something healthy and simple for owen seems like too much bother.

but through it all my boys are champs. and, as always, my mom. after weeks of what felt futile armwrestling in and out of owen's bed--last night (and it seems we might have a repeat performance on our hands tonight) i honed our bedtime routine down to two stories, the fishy song, the butterfly song, and a goodnight kiss. and for a two year old o. is amazingly receptive to logic--he responds very well to routine and seems satisfied with nearly any course of action if he's been given a map prior. so i laid it out. and the bedtime kiss came, i closed the door, went downt he hallway and didn't hear a peep until four am when he came snuggling up in my bed (which is SO allowed) and just smiled good morning to me at 8 am. i cleaned up some stuff on my desktop, researched yoga poses and studios for sciatica (and even did a few) and read a dozen pages of a critical article on vw by molly hite which was engaging and brilliant and overall a promising springboard for my own chapter. i hope to finish it tonight and have a smart analysis to offer. i made plans with mom for two work days while she has "nana time" with owen and made a commitment to put in daily reading hours in at night when all is quiet.

and this morning we took a trader joe's trip--when i asked o. if he wanted to go to tj's he said "yes yes yes! let's get purple juice mama!". and we bought a rainbow of fruits and veggies and owen was so excited he shouted "look at all these delicious things!" and wouldn't put down the bag of organic carrots he had picked out. and for dinner i mixed the organic garden salad with a tj's combination of pepitas/almonds/pinenuts, some chopped "just chicken," and some blanched broccoli topped with some yummy herbed buttermilk dressing and a mini corn tortilla for grabbing the good stuff. it was crunchy and satisfying and owen ate his way around his plate of strawberries, chicken, broccoli and tortilla all with a big-boy fork--it was all so inspiring i had to pull the camera out. then we had frozen yokids gogurt on the patio for dessert. and now i'm going to read all about virgnia's "two bodies." what could be better? aha. reading that with some droste pastilles stashed in my freezer, of course (ah, note to m.: need more red from schipol). that and m. will be home in less than a week already!